How not to regret regrets…

Mike + the Mechanics were singing in my head when I woke up. Do you remember the song?

I wasn’t there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn’t get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I’m sure I heard his echo
In my baby’s new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Bad theology aside (regarding his father’s spirit), I really liked that song. It came into my life at a time when I had a good relationship with my own father. It caused me to reflect upon  my high school years when I didn’t respect him because of my own folly. It helped me to pursue a vital relationship with him until he died just over a decade later. I am glad that those last few years went the way they did. I have no regrets.

On the other side of that stands my father. I wonder how he felt about those years. I hope he feels good about them. He was a great dad. He provided all our physical needs — food and shelter. He provided love for us. He gave us a good role-model of what it meant to be a husband, being faithful to Mom for all their married life. He ensured that we were spiritually nourished, taking, instead of sending, us to church regularly. He helped me get a good education. He was a great man. He should have no regrets.

Recently I was speaking to a friend who has regrets. She noted that one of her children had decided there was no God. She tried to deal with this herself, with some logical and evidential examples, but there was no moving this “omniscient” high-school student. As she shared her concern with Laurel and me, my mind went back several years to a time when she and her family disappeared from church. It was during a personal struggle and they simply decided that they couldn’t attend church at that time. Now, it seems, she looks back at that with regret. You could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. My heart went out to her.

I wish I could fix that. I wish I could erase her regrets. But I can’t. The past is the past and there is no going back. All my friend can do is leave the past with God (he tends to redeem such things), ask his forgiveness for her mistakes, and take intentional steps regarding the future. As we parted, I invited her back to church. I believe doing so will help her avoid accumulating even more regrets.

I have regrets about the past — particularly in the area of my own family. I wish I had been a better husband in the early years of marriage, being more tender toward my wife. I wish I had been a better father to my children, communicating on a deeper level with them. I wish…. But I can’t change that. I, like my friend, am forced to leave the past with God, repenting of my errors, and asking him to help me be the person I should be, starting now.

That’s the way to stop regretting your regrets.

Maybe that’s part of what Paul meant when he said: But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13b-14)

Spending Time with God…

Recently, I was reading James Emery White’s latest book, A Traveler’s Guide to the Kingdom, thinking of how, since I am reading this, I really could skip my Bible reading today, when White hits me between the eyes with this….

It’s no secret that when it comes to relationships there is a direct link between time and intimacy. Your closeness to someone is tied to how much time you spend with them. If you spend five minutes a month with someone, then you’re five-minutes-a-month close. If you spend five minutes a day with them, then you’re five-minutes-a-day close. I’m much more intimate with someone that I see every day than someone I see once or twice a year. It’s no different with God. If you want to develop your relationship with him, you have to spend time with him. And the more time you spend with him, the closer you’ll be, and the more your relationship will develop. ~White, p 49.

OK — maybe it wasn’t White that hit me. 🙂

Cooperating with God…

“Most of us turned to Christ when we realized there was a difference between Christianity as a religion and Christianity as a relationship,” writes Ken Gire. “Sometime after entering into that relationship with Christ, we realized something else. That there is a difference between a personal relationship with Christ and an intimate one.” You must cooperate with God’s leading and direction in your life, and make the necessary investments to position yourself for his ongoing work in your life, in order to enhance  his creative activity. While spirituality consist of being, not doing, there are things to do that will help you be! ~James Emery White in A Traveler’s Guide to the Kingdom:Journeying through the Christian Life, p. 48.

Oh Be Careful Little Fingers What You Type…

Today I listened to Blaine Workman’s podcast: Learning to Speak TOBOG. He was speaking about our speaking — the words we say. He noted that if Paul were writing to the Ephesians today, he might say words like this:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth or flow from your fingers. Texting, twitter, facebook, blogs — they are all helpful tools for communicating in our digital age, none of them good or bad in and of themselves. But the rotting verbal garbage that some Christians are willing to post in texts or online is just appalling. It has no place among God s people. In some weird inexplicable way, talking to their electronic device somehow frees people to spew the most vile and corrupting talk in ways they’d be ashamed to do, speaking face to face with the real person. And brothers and sisters, the anonymity of cyberspace is no license for corrupting talk. If your brother sins against you, Jesus says, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. Today, we go tell the whole world in an anonymous post in a blog somewhere… ~Pastor Blaine Workman

That’s a bold thing for a pastor to say. It’s especially bold today, because it’s a quick way to be unfriended in social media.

Take a listen to Pastor Blaine yourself. Maybe you could post it on your own facebook or other social media page.

I dare you.