There is this current underneath it all, one I have learned to paddle through, all these years– a constant undertow that could drag me under if I let down my guard for even a minute.  In a way it has become part of my inner landscape, so that I could almost accept it as normal.  Except that God’s Word reminds me that it isn’t and calls me to set my feet on firm ground.  It’s been decades learning how not to swim.

I confessed this on Wednesday night, that I was a “recovering perfectionist,” in a joking way that didn’t do justice to the weight of such expectations.  Maybe it shone a light for someone else who struggles– illuminated the fact that they are not alone on the sea.  Because one thing I have discovered in all these years of leading women’s small groups, is that most of us hear those voices in our heads that tell us we don’t measure up.  Some of the voices come from the past– parents, siblings, teachers, friends– and some of them come from our own sensitivity and pride and desire to please, but all of them echo the lies of The Enemy.

And the only way to get out of the current and stand on solid ground is to recognize the lies and replace them with truth.  And this is the first and most important truth, learned as children and maybe, because of that, too often ignored: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”

It is the basis of our trust: that our God is who He says He is, and He loves us, He loves us, He loves us.  “Your unfailing love, O LORD, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.” (Psalm 36:5 NLT)  If I know that deep down in the center of my being, I can stop swimming against this undertow, just get right out of the water and stand, feet planted in truth, despite my failures.

“Nothing can separate, even if I run away; Your love never fails.  I know I still make mistakes, but You have new mercies for me every day; Your love never fails.  You stay the same through the ages; Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.  And when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid, because I know that You love me.  Your love never fails.  The wind is strong and the water’s deep, but I’m not alone in these open seas. Your love never fails….You make all things work together for my good…Your love never fails.”  (Your Love Never Fails, Jesus Culture)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoezWBPGRAc

This is one of my favorite worship songs that we play in church.