On a day when I feel lost, playing hide-and-seek with Truth and wondering who I am, the words to the simple song we sang on Sunday come to mind: “Oh the gravity of You, brings my soul unto its knees; I will never be the same– I am lost and found in You…” (Alabaster, Rend Collective Experiment). That’s what I need, to be grounded in Someone infinitely strong and certain; I feel it more some days than others, because circumstances can take you off course without a moment’s notice and emotions can blow and batter worse than a storm. Gravity is what I need exactly, in every sense of the word, to keep my heart in one piece.  The giant almighty Center holding everything in its place. The awesome silent solemnity of being in God’s presence. Let me lose my Self in You… find who I am in You.

I love Francis Thompson’s classic poem The Hound of Heaven, the way he pictures God chasing him relentlessly through all the days of his life, Love never giving up until his soul gave up running and was Home and safe. A much-needed message came to my inbox yesterday, a sister-writer reminding me that God does not only run after the fleeing, but He also runs after the floundering. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me”— chasing me, pursuing me, hunting me– “all the days of my life,” because I belong to the Good Shepherd.

So on days like this, when I can’t see anything clearly, if all I have is the faintest whisper… “find me”…that is enough of a prayer, because the One who leads me on, who is the Beginning and the End of all things, will never stop hunting me down with His goodness. Pursue me with mercy…find me…draw me to Yourself and set my feet on solid ground.

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” (Psalm 94:18-19)

“All which I took from thee, I did’st but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might’st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child’s mistake fancies as lost,
I have stored for thee at Home.” (The Hound of Heaven, Francis Thompson)