The one line from John Milton that has stayed with me since college is the last line of the sonnet On His Blindness. The famous poet scholar wondered what God would require of his life, in light of his disability, and the patience he has learned reminds him that God doesn’t need his labor or his abilities, but is served best by surrendered hearts…“They also serve who only stand and wait.” And he kept on writing, producing by dictation the poetic works that would be his literary legacy to the world. To a young adult studying literature with high hopes and a suitcase full of goals, it slowed and stilled the air like a prayer; although I could not fully appreciate Milton’s wisdom till much later in life, it planted a seed of Truth in my spirit. Weakness bowing down before God, building an altar of worship from the broken pieces of a heart– this was all that was required, and everything He wanted from a man.

I looked up wait as I was studying this week,and wrote it down: “stay stationary in readiness or expectation”… and I remembered Milton. Because when I am waiting on God’s answers, usually staying right here is the last thing I want to do– that is the very reason I am calling out to Him, and I would rather move anywhere than here. But then I would not be ready for Him to move, would not be here to see what He will do for me in this place. Trusting God means knowing when it is time for me to stop trying, being willing to wait and accept where I am, knowing He is present and powerful in any circumstance.

Webster’s goes on: “Remain temporarily neglected…” and that catches me off guard completely. That small phrase captures all kinds of meaning. Again the staying put in a difficult place, a hard choice to do the hard thing. Neglected calls up Milton again, and his lonely descent into blindness before he turned sixty. But it is the word in between that says it all, the reason for the remaining and the answer to the thing left unused: temporarily. Because when you are waiting on an eternal God, all these earthly things are temporary, only a flash in the face of Forever, and the waiting does not seem so very long any more. The Apostle Paul breathed it this way: “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

And Webster finishes with the best one yet: “to serve someone” and it almost makes me laugh aloud at the delicious irony. Webster was thinking of waiting on someone’s needs, a servant or a waiter at a table. John Milton saw it too, only he was looking deeper. To wait upon God is to serve Him, but not by meeting physical needs. To wait upon God is to show Him complete and utter trust, to surrender my wishes to His, my timetable to His eternal plans. And if He wills for me to stand and wait, then I serve Him by doing just that with a peaceful heart, no matter what the hindrances are that force me to a standstill. “He also serves who only stands and waits.”

Funny the lessons that stick with you through the years, and how they grow as you do. I have a much greater appreciation for Milton’s words now than I did thirty-some years ago, understand more of what it cost him to make that declaration of surrender as an aging and impoverished writer, depending on others for the outlet of his brilliant mind. But I am still learning to listen and do what is mine to do; still learning to trust Him to weave His plans together, still learning to wait patiently for His timing. Learning to be still and know that He is God.

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” (Psalm 130:5-6)

“When God brings a blank space, see that you do not fill it in, but wait.” (Oswald Chambers)