These last days of Winter drag long and slow. It feels like swimming against an undertow and it takes every bit of will to pull out recipes for dinner, make progress on this quilt, study for the next lesson, vacuum the floor, when I would rather just hide away with a book and ignore the phone. I feel like I am fading away in this middle-grey land of almost-March, and I know at times I am only going through the motions and it is bound to show. But there’s a restlessness deep underneath. “Awake, my soul…wake up and live”…the Spirit calling me back from this dull slide into lethargy. And I know it is only a season, and this too will pass, so I plod along through another day, and watch and wait for the change. Sleeping Beauty, waiting for her Prince to come.
At some point through the years, Advent and Lent connected in my head– parallel seasons of remembrance and waiting– waiting for God’s coming into our darkness; waiting for God’s deliverance from our darkness. And the restlessness itself is preparation for His coming, because we so quickly go to sleep in this world: “This is why it is said, ‘Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” (Ephesians 5:14)
This is what Lent is for, to wake up numbed and heavy hearts, to welcome in the restless urging underneath that wants More. Not an exercise in self-discipline, or giving up some habit that I should probably give up anyway. It is a season of turning, preparing my heart to recognize God’s deliverance in all the dead and darkened places of my life; God with us, Emmanuel, and now Christ within us, Savior. And the Holy Wind rushes through dusty rooms, whispering Resurrection Life…“for the light makes everything visible….,” stirs up a holy discontent until all we really want is for everything to be made new. Who says that the Prince who can awaken us from our sleep is only a fairy-tale?
So I will keep pressing on in the dull days of this season, and weep over all the silent cold places in me…the earth itself longing hard…because there is hope buried in the ground and Your purpose is working where I cannot see it, Your Voice calling my name. “My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.” (Song of Songs 2:10-11) Spring is coming to the world and Christ is risen indeed, our heavenly Prince come to set us free from the curse of sin
“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.” (Romans 8:1-2)
“I can hear you,
You’re calling my name;
The ocean between us erased.
And salvation,
It pours down like rain,
Flooding my walls till I break.
I give my life to you,
My heart to you,
You’re all I need–
Come and make me new…” (Give My Life to You, Elevation Worship)