Talking this week about something Oswald Chambers pointed out, how the sin nature is not so much about our doing wicked things, as it is about Self-sufficiency. He said that allowing Self to control and shape my world can either drive me to chaos and sin or it can drive me to a standard of doing good. Two very different outcomes from the same root. And regardless of which way it falls– how it looks on the outside and whether others approve or not– it’s what is underneath that matters in the end. The Wise King Solomon warned us about that very thing: “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)
See, we get quite distracted by what we can observe and evaluate on the outside, and it is too easy to substitute what we can do, for what we need God to do. That’s how good people can be seduced by their own capabilities and never realize just how hollow it all is. We can soak in the songs and the sermons, and enjoy the people of God, and then go live the days in our planners. Maybe ask for a prayer or two when we hit a rough patch. Or kick it up a notch and get involved in ministry, even– it is the right thing to do, after all, and we feel good about helping others. This approach works a good bit of the time from a practical standpoint. In the meantime only God can tell that we are living on our own strength. He can see how we need it to work out, because our own self-image is at stake; and how the further it goes, the more afraid we are of losing what we are building.
Till the storm crashes in and what we can do is no longer enough…or circumstances take us somewhere we never intended to be…any time God bumps up against our preconceived ideas of what He is like and what He intends to do. The older brother in Jesus’ parable never dreamed that it was his own attitude that would bear examining, when the prodigal returned home seeking forgiveness. Mind you, God will do everything He needs, to shake you to the core and bring you face-to-face with the darkness lurking there; Chambers calls it “the discipline of dismay.” There is a built-in rejection of the Lover of our Souls in all of us– in some it is an outright defiance, and in some, it is a quiet desire to “do it myself.” Either way, it is the root problem that needs to be dealt with.
When God refuses to be neatly boxed and tagged, what is our response? Do we sulk and storm and feel like He has let us down? Or can we work through the disappointment and doubt on our knees, in order to find out what He is doing and what He wants of us here? Like Erwin Lutzer says: “It does little good for us to object to what He chooses to do. When He said to Moses, ‘I AM that I AM’ He in effect said ‘I am who I am and not Who you would prefer Me to be’. “
And when Self finally gives up trying to control this corner of the world, maybe I will see that it was never mine to rule…and discover that God is far more than I could ever want or need. He is the only everlasting foundation to build a life on, and only the things rooted in Him will be balanced and whole. The Church-Planter gets downright cranky about the thought of us living any other way: “How foolish can you be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? Have you experienced so much for nothing?” (Galatians 3:3-4)
Guess it’s the kind of lesson we need to learn over and over. And maybe this too is God’s severe mercy, that will never let us be satisfied with less than Himself.
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“Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15
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“Cause all I know is
Everything I have means nothing
Jesus if You’re not my one thing
Everything I need right now
All I need is You right now
Just one thing I ask and this
I will seek If only to know You
To be where You are and go where You lead
My God I will follow.”
(One Thing, Hillsong)