I heard Tim Keller on the radio this morning talking about the goals we set our eyes on as parents, and challenging whether we were steering our children towards success or greatness.  Not an easy question to face and one that uncovers our own soul’s  bent toward the things the world values….beauty, achievement, popularity, strength, intelligence.

I remember struggling with that when my kids were teens and how hard it was to push instead toward compassion for others; humility and service instead of competition, integrity to stand up to lies, forgiveness in the face of cruelty.  I had to, for their sake, because if they couldn’t learn it from their mother, who else would they ever trust enough to learn it later?

Looking back I see how much being a mother has shaped who I have become, thrown a spotlight onto my own values, uncovered my own weaknesses, challenged me to grow so that I could be what they needed me to be in their own becoming.

There’s nothing like the helplessness you feel as a mother to drive you into the all-powerful arms of your heavenly Father.  Nothing like too-short nights and doctor’s appointments and constantly hungry mouths to put Self right to death no matter how much it howls.  And nothing like the weight of a warm little body to teach you grace and forgiveness and love that keeps on persevering.  As a homeschooling mother of six puts it: “The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach — because who can bring peace unless they’ve held their own peace?” (Ann Voskamp)

I think, looking back, that these children were shaping me while I was shaping them….that we have grown up together into God.  Maybe that’s how it is in the Family of God too, us reaching out to become what others need so they can grow…. and us growing with the effort, all unaware at the time.

“A wise mother knows what powerful men can forget — that the way to move heaven and earth isn’t with a strong arm but with a bowed head.” (Ann Voskamp)