Sometimes the hardest part of understanding God’s sovereign right-to-rule and my freedom to choose is knowing what I can control and what I cannot.
I can waste a lot of energy and turmoil in regret over the past: agonizing over decisions made that led down this path or that, punishing myself for words spoken too carelessly or for failing to speak at all, for selfish actions, for not living up to expectations (mine or anyone else’s)– the past can be a deep black hole there is no recovering from, for a borderline perfectionist. And the thing is, all the energy in the world cannot rewind time or give me a do-over. The past is done and I have no more influence there. The Apostle Paul is another one who left his own shameful past at the cross of Christ and walked on as a new man… “I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” (Philippians 3:13-14) I can choose to accept Christ’s forgiveness and let go of the past, trusting Him to use even my failures for good in the end. This I can do.
The future too can suck the life right out of me, if I let fear overtake me. I learned years ago to not even open the door to certain thoughts, because once over the threshold they grow to larger-than-life-sized and take over my mental landscape. Even the common ordinary worries can consume my thinking if I am not persistently trusting. And Jesus Himself gently reminds me that the future is not in my hands: “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:27) Some things are not mine to control, but His, and accepting that simple fact relieves me of a burden that is way too heavy for me to bear. And He reminds me of the attention He gives to the smallest of His creation, how well He knows what I need… “if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” (Matthew 6:30) I can choose to give my worries into His trustworthy hands and live at peace in the present moment. This I can do.
Jesus understood how deeply our hearts get entwined in the cares of this world we live in, how we see injustice and pain and need all around, how we wrestle with our own limitations in so many of the issues that concern us. He experienced firsthand the physical needs that weaken us, and the isolation of our souls trapped in these clay bodies– and although He laid down the infinite power that was His by right, He did not leave behind the limitless love that was His Father’s heart. He knows the temptations to fix and manipulate the world we walk in, the pull to get our needs met any way we can, the sorrow over all the broken pieces. And I am glad He tells me what is mine to choose and what is not, in the midst of it: “So don’t worry about these things….These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:31-33) I can choose to offer up my concerns and burdens to Him, to live with integrity and obey what He tells me to do in my corner of the world, and leave the bigger picture to His wise judgment. This I can do.
I can choose to set my heart on God above all else. I can set my energies to pursuing His plan for me…transformation into the likeness of Jesus and living a life worthy of Him. I can choose to grow in knowledge and understanding of His Truth. I can practice abiding in His presence and trusting in His provision in everyday situations. I can worship and give thanks and stand alert to the spiritual battle that rages unseen. And in case I get to thinking this is all very abstract and irrelevant to the daily situations of work and family, the Church-planter Paul offers pages and pages of letters, telling exactly how my choices should look on my street and in my home and in my church. This is what is mine to do: live as a child of God in the circumstances of my day, because the only thing I have the power to decide is who I will be today…how I will respond to the things around me, and how much I will listen to the Helper who lives in me. It is an everyday choice to bow to the Ruler on the throne of Heaven or to do things my way– Eve’s original choice from the Garden played out a million different ways in each of our lives, every day we walk this earth.
There is both warning and mercy in Jesus’ declaration,“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34) There will be difficult things to face today. And again tomorrow. But we only get one day that is truly subject to our will– in this day, and Today only, I am free to choose my words, my reactions, my priorities, how to spend my energies. Only these twenty-four hours to face at a time, and a new start in the morning, with His promised presence to help and to guide. This I can do.
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“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’ ” (Matthew 11:29-30)
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“I will stay, should the world by me fold,
Lift up Your name as the darkness falls;
I will wait, and hold fast to Your word,
Heart on Your heart, and my eyes on You.
God of wonder and God of grace,
Let my soul stand always to praise You,
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way,
And I’ll never look back.”
(Hillsong United)