The weekly study group has gathered up materials, closed its books in satisfaction, and is already looking ahead to the new topic. It has been an enlightening two-and-a-half months of honest discussion on busy-ness. But I linger here contemplating rest, lagging behind like a hopeful child wanting one more taste of holiday.

I am beginning to recognize that inner Over-achiever that has such trouble saying no; it’s getting easier to ignore her. Starting to answer eagerly, not afraid to be specific, when I hear Jesus say, “What do you want me to do for you?” Longing to have His presence more than His answers, to trust His timing more than my control. Finding the results in small unexpected ways, in my everyday. (I  wonder if it is only coincidence that I have been sleeping deeply and peacefully at night?) But there is more to learn here. I have the sense that I have only just opened the door to a room full of treasure. And frankly I can’t get enough of listening to Jesus. Mary of Bethany’s rapt attention at His feet comes to mind, and I feel sure that setting the table or checking the bread in the oven never even crossed her mind.

The commandment to “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” (Exodus 20:8) is so much more than rules about what to do on a certain day. It is, at its heart, God calling us back to the intimacy of the Garden, a reminder that He wants relationship with us. The commandment is a formal covenantal declaration of what Jesus will tell His followers many centuries later with His “Come to Me…and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) In Jesus, all our longings for Sabbath-rest and relationship are fulfilled. Because of Jesus, the door is swung wide open to us and we are always welcomed into His presence. But from the beginning of time, God has consistently left the choice up to us. And from the beginning, the Enemy has consistently misrepresented that choice to us, distracted us with other shiny options. If we could understand the gift we are being given as clearly as Mary did, the choice would be simpler.

So let’s look at our choices and their consequences with clear eyes, see our busyness from a fresh vantage-point and listen to Jesus’ invitation with ears to hear. Our hopes will not disappoint when we meet Him there.

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“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:9-11)

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“Heavy laden is often the result of listening to the shoulds of the bossy inner voice that degrades passion into duty and joy into meaninglessness.” (Shelly Miller)

The call to Sabbath-rest has become increasingly beautiful to me, these past two months. Less like a dry prescription for the good Christian life, and more like the beguiling tones of a Lover whispering: “Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away. For lo, the winter is past…” (Song of Solomon 2:10-11) 

There is space here in Sabbath, for Jesus to re-write the falsehood of the Enemy, to gently straighten and re-align my thinking with “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable….” (Philippians 4:8) I can push on without His help, but the going gets slow and painful. I can hear Paul encouraging the early believers to  “…make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:13) When I spend time with Jesus, I am strengthened and renewed, and the lies of the Enemy are exposed for what they are.

There is space in Sabbath moments, to feel His presence and hear Him say that all the ways I don’t measure up in this world don’t begin to measure up to the ocean-depths of His love for me. When I get too busy to step into His light, shame becomes a constant tormenting companion that drains my energy, drives me to try harder, work more, to make myself acceptable. But Paul is writing triumphantly,“Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies….Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us..” (Romans 8:33-34) I need time with my Savior, to contemplate Grace, to send shame running.

Here in the quiet there is space for His Spirit to connect the dots in my life, to tie together today’s scattered events and experiences into the larger narrative– see how it all fits together as part of His plans for me. When I don’t stop to listen and wait on Him, I miss that perspective, see only the confusing clutter and the jumbled emotions inside. It’s easier to lose focus, when all I can see is my mess– easier to doubt His hand at work in my world. And there is Paul reminding me again that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him….” (Romans 8:28) When I come to Him, my eyes are opened to see that He is shepherding my soul in every circumstance, and will lead me through whatever comes. Not one of the details of my life escape His notice, and He has already woven them, both the good and the bad, into the story.

And as I make the time to rest…to listen…to just be present with Jesus, the more precious Sabbath-rest becomes to my spirit. Sometimes you have to walk right into the ocean to really understand what it is like. We had no idea how beguiling its depths would be.

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“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to Him.” (Psalm 34:8)

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“When I feel the cold of winter
And this cloak of sadness,
I need You.
All the evil things that shake me,
All the words that break me–
I need You.
Over The Mountains, over the Sea…
Here You come running, my Lover to me.
Do not hide me from Your presence;
Pull me from Your shadows–
I need You.
Beauty, wrap Your arms around me;
Sing Your song of kindness—
I need You.”
(Song of Solomon, Martin Smith)

So we are practicing Sabbath, with about the same agility of a toddler taking first steps into his father’s arms. Five minutes a day to just stop where we are and block out the noise, say no to the distractions and whisper “Come, Lord Jesus.” Some days it’s harder than others. Some days it feels like I am the blind beggar sitting outside Jericho by the side of the road, calling out through the commotion “Jesus…have mercy on me!” (Mark 10:47) That’s about as much sense as I can muster in those few minutes, with too many things swirling around in my head. Kyrie eleison…Lord, have mercy…Christ, have mercy…one of the oldest prayers of the church, and the one that is always appropriate for us.

And sometimes the question comes in the quiet: “What do you want Me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51) It’s the best part of the beggar’s story. As if the Lord of heaven and earth doesn’t know, or doesn’t have the right to make an executive decision for the man. “What do you want Me to do for you?” Because Jesus really wants to hear it in the beggar’s own words. I’ve begun to take a timid attempt to verbalize what I want Jesus to do for me– both because it’s quicker (given the five minute time slot), and because it shocks me to realize how difficult this is for me. Like maybe somewhere inside I don’t feel convinced of His interest in me, or worthy of His favor? The question helps me focus, though, cuts through the emotions and thoughts about the issue and gets right to the center of it, to my dependence on Jesus and my need for what only He can supply. Healing, strength, forgiveness, grace, perseverance, love, peace, the Breath of the Spirit– this is my daily Bread, and I am a beggar at His feet.

A few other helpful questions this week to focus my thoughts more quickly on Jesus and His work in me: “What are you missing because you are too busy to notice?  What is shame convincing you to believe that isn’t true?  Where is God in your lack, pain, and difficulty?  What path is He asking you to walk with Him?” (Shelly Miller, Sabbath Society)

This five minutes of Sabbath rest may be the most important of the one thousand four hundred and forty you will receive today. Just do it, and don’t be surprised if it stretches longer. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

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“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.” (John 15:9-10)

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“Here’s my heart, Lord;
Speak what is true,
Cause I am found,
I am Yours,
I am loved…“
(Here’s My Heart, Lauren Daigle)

Funny how all of us who thought we were going to get a handle on busy schedules are facing instead the heart issues that pushed us onto this merry-go-round to begin with. We were just looking for a band-aid solution really, but Jesus had other ideas. He is not interested in helping us manage our agendas with more energy, wield our female super-power of busyness with more confidence, or even in delivering us from the consequences of our own neglect. Instead He is calling us to Himself.

Would it be so bad to admit that we are heartsick and tired of running? That the effort of hiding our wounds and avoiding our grief is wearing us out? That these failures we are covering up, these fears that drive us, this never-ending workload are all getting mighty heavy? What if we could just face up to the hidden dread that if we sit quiet and listen for God, He might not stoop to answer us– or worse, only reinforce the negative voices in our heads? If we could be honest about all our baggage, I wonder if Jesus’ words would ring loud and clear, and we could finally accept His invitation at face value: “Come, you who are weary….” Yes, we are the weary, but until we are truly ready to give up that shield of busyness, we cannot just come and find rest, really accept the Everlasting Love that calls us.

Author and speaker Shelly Miller rightly observes that resistance to God’s call is a symptom of self-reliance, an insistence that we can manage life on our own rather than trust the Creator. Looking at it that way, our failure to stop and rest is just plain ugly….one more way to rebel against the God who made us to serve Him. And herein lies a fundamental truth, that rest only comes when you stop trying so hard to be somebody and just come as you are with nothing to offer. The broken, the desperate, the lonely, the needy– all are more likely to experience Sabbath rest than the busy. “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:3-4)

This understanding of Sabbath rest underscores the pointlessness of confining it to one day of the week, or outlining the activities that should or should not happen then. Whenever I come running to my Father and lean my head against Him like a child, sit with Him awhile, it is Sabbath. The Lover of My Soul knows when I need a break from everything that batters and presses, in this world. And in all the ways He calls to me, whether through a sunrise or a song, He is reminding me of His presence and His goodness– reminding me to stop and enjoy Him in the middle of Everyday. “…for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29)

There, in any moment, we find Sabbath rest that refreshes and re-orients the heart again. Stopping our regular schedules for a whole day is certainly healthy, and a helpful way to turn in the right direction, but when we deal honestly with the issues that keep us busy, we begin to find Sabbath rest in bits and pieces everywhere. God promises, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

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“…’Be careful to keep my Sabbath day, for the Sabbath is a sign of the covenant between me and you from generation to generation. It is given so you may know that I am the LORD, who makes you holy.'” (Exodus 31:13)

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“I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think You’re like,
But I’ve heard the tender whispers of love in the dead of night.
And You tell me that You’re pleased,
And that I’m never alone.
You’re a good good Father–
It’s who You are….
And I’m loved by You–
It’s who I am….”
(Good Good Father, Chris Tomlin)

And when the day brings only the routine tasks of house and family, there can still be joy in the One who gives this time: another twenty-four hours, and a clean slate for what we will do with it. May we spend it wisely and well, and not forget to whisper “Come, Lord Jesus” in the midst.

“It is wholly impossible …to make a proper application of heavenly principles, as long as the necessary duties which each day brings seem only like a burden grievous to be borne. Not till we are ready to throw our very life’s love into the troublesome little things can we be really faithful in that which is least, and faithful also in much. Every day that dawns brings something to do, which can never be done as well again. We should, therefore, try to do it ungrudgingly and cheerfully. It is the Lord’s own work, which He has given us as surely as He gives us daily bread. We should thank Him for it with all our hearts, as much as for any other gift. It was designed to be our life, our happiness. Instead of shirking it or hurrying over it, we should put our whole heart and soul into it.”
(James Reed, quoted in Joy and Strength for The Pilgrim’s Day)

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“You were reaching through the storm,
Walking on the water,
Even when I could not see;
In the middle of it all,
When I thought You were a thousand miles away,
Not for a moment did You forsake me.”
(Not For A Moment, Meredith Andrews)

As we peel off the onion-layers of our busyness, our motivations and priorities are coming into focus, and it may or may not be a little sobering. It’s no surprise that at the heart of most of us women is just this longing to be loved and valued, to be connected to other people in meaningful relationships. But when we sit down and admit how much that drives us– realize we will do whatever that takes, regardless of our own health and welfare? Who knew that Love would be such a taskmaster?

I think of Jesus’ quiet words, that seem more and more relevant: “Come to me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30) Because He already loves us with an everlasting love. He rejoices over us with singing. He says there is no more condemnation for us who are resting in Him, only grace that is sufficient for all our weakness.

So we can say no to the things that are not ours to do, without losing worth, or any of His regard. And we can say yes to anything He asks of us for the sheer delight of pleasing Him, in full confidence of His enabling us for the task. Best of all, we can ask Him to show us the difference between what is ours and what is not….ask Him to show us how to let go of the fear that we will not be worthy of love.

There is freedom in His invitation to Come, a safe place of acceptance to run to, when we are feeling pushed and pulled by the voices around us…when other people’s expectations and opinions get too difficult to carry around. And there is purpose here, in all tasks large or small, as long as they come from His hand. I suspect that if we could see how our Everyday is alight with the glory of His favor, we could more easily trust that each circumstance is given according to our unique workmanship and His good plans for our growth. We just need to know (down deep in the heart of us) that His is the only voice that matters.

Forgive us, Lord, for listening to people more than to You; for holding up the opinions and expectations of others above Your will for us; for trying to fill up our hearts with the admiration and approval of people, when the Beloved One of Heaven has already given us all things. Let us rest in the Sabbath of Your love.

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“… love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love.”
(1 John 4:18)

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“He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane;
I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.”
(How He Loves, John Mark McMillan)